some days are better than others

what can I say?

I admit that to telling my fella, at this early age, my dad's favourite adage: LIFE IS NOT FAIR. Initially I hated this phrase - very disheartening. but I think it has worked it's way into me somehow, and maybe contributed to my wanting to try and do something about it.

in his case, more milk usually solves the injustice.

sling-a-long

my favourite place is this sling - nestled on mum or dad's tummy.

even when i'm grouchy

i can't resist the sway

and

rock.

and so i fall asleep.

beetroot globes

radish, beetroot, rainbow chard, zucchini, calendula, sweet peas, running beans. seeds aplenty.

we found a big pile of composted grass clippings up the road, and lugged the huge pile back into the garden. and little man was the helping by his gentle snores as he gardened with me.

some of the seeds were sourced from a 'seed swap' held in totnes - sunflower, chicory, pumpkin and lettuce seed saved from local gardens.

for 27 years before we arrived this garden was tended by an artist, and we keep finding treasures in the garden - an upturned boat now a garden seat; lifesize models of men from China; a box rusted close, but full of buttons when we prised it open; a wooden car; an opaque glass bowl. real treasure. her favourite colour was blue, so the whole garden is planted with shrubs that (unusually!) flower blue. the forget-me-nots are almost taking over. peonies are poking through, and I have alot more to discover.

kisses

late afternoon light flooding into our kitchen.

we had taken a break from an afternoon of taking down doors (to hang them up again the other way), planting seeds, painting old chairs, putting up shelves, pruning
- and most importantly, making our little man happy by being cuddled and kissed.

my rainbow pants

life is sweet in my rainbow pants.

Three times now I have given little man a baby massage with almond oil. I am not sure he really likes it, but I do! I rub his little limbs (no pants! I have no pants and am airing my bottom, he says!) and massage his 10 fingers and toes. And frog belly, and milky neck. Lately I have also taken to dressing him in a bib, to catch the endless yogurty milkshake that he hiccups UP. I like too the way he smells – kind of an air of fermented milk. He has pink gums, and wide open mouth, making a la la la sound at the end of his cry when he really doesn’t like something. The thing he likes least is having his nappy changed, which is unfortunate bec that happens A LOT. Maybe a dozen or more times a day. Esp when he poos straight after changing. Again. and again. and again.

and now there are three

my goodness it's a baby!

he was born on 15th of March, 2008 at home in dartington.

he (as yet gloriously nameless) weighed 5 pounds 12 ounces, or 2.4 kg.

he is our babysattva, our lord babyship, our perfect little man.

and now he demands my attention!

mr april 2008

both strong contenders.

"this is what i can fill in a day!"

"this is what i can fill in a day!" he says, watching his nappies swaying in the spring breeze.
I hang 100s of cloth nappies like little sheep in a line.

see adrian up the gum tree!

sun on my wool hat

this was little bacha's first outing - we went walking [actuallly he didn't do so much walking] through dartington trust gardens. he kept his eyes resolutely closed while we tried to show him the early flowers of the magnolia, fire engine red camellias and fluffy azalias.

His blue grey eyes that are getting lighter, that sometimes seem to focus, others not. He rolls his eyes just before nodding off. He sometimes searches for my nipple like a bloodhound, shaking his head wildly just before he latches on, like he’s trying to catch a jumping fish with his mouth.

in the centre

kicking and hiccuping on exquisite quilt from aunty catriona. a few seconds away from a warm cuddle is all he can usually manage...

24 hours later

soon after being born, our tiny little man wakes up slowly.
I didn't sleep at all the first night, just watching him - not really believing that he was real.
and then the next night I didn't sleep at all for altogether different reasons - -
he was 2 wks old before I braved leaving the house. I didn’t really want to , and it took at least a wk to not feels like a total zombie (even making a phone call was a major achievement – one phone call). But the last few days I have ventured out with a baby sling and we have explored the different footpaths – paved, roads, and forest - in our new neighbourhood.Today I got very muddy, more so because with him strapped on the front, I couldn’t see my feet, so sloshed a lot. There are bluebells out (some white, some blue), little yellow and white daisies everywhere (some are called stichwort, as they look like stiches crossing the banks), daffodils wild everywhere, some like fried eggs, some double, some all yellow, some tiny; primroses – pale yellow. They are my favourite. Like the primulas planted in aust., but growing wild everywhere. Flowers. Green. Hills. The moors in the distance. Brooks babbling. Cold water creeks. And for the last few days – sun! front room for sun in the morning, bedroom for the afternoon.

Yoda

In his early hours (this is a couple of days old) we couldn't decide if he resembled either a small, wrinkly monkey [imagine a tiny creature clinging to its mum, all hair and wrinkles], Yoda, a small, old man or ET.

Luckily now he looks like a perfect little man (and has been confirmed as the best, cutest baby in the world. I checked).

full up!

all full up.